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The list has also seen some additions made by the Adeptus Custodes and the Commissars of the Imperial Guard. This list describes the immediate "improvements" the Emperor of Mankind would install, steps towards a more noblebright galaxy. In his absence, the idiots running the Imperium have become even more corrupt, the Imperial Truth has been forgotten by everyone, some retards have got everyone worshipping me, some maniacs are so fucked up they are just killing anyone useful, and the general state of affairs is through and through GRIMDARK. The thing is that the Emperor of Mankind would be really pissed off upon returning his consciousness to his body and finding out what happened to his Imperium during his 10,000-year-long absence/slumber upon the Golden Throne. "Your faith in The Emperor shall assuredly be rewarded." The Holy List (in no particular order) File:TheLiterallyImmortalGodEmperorOfMankind.jpg Think about what the God-Emperor would actually do when he wakes up to the sight of a regressing civilization. The body will then be burned to ensure no taint remains.ħ: If you can't make jokes, then put some effort to make an insightful or interesting submission. If your pet is an iguana and therefore cannot talk, talk to the voices in your head and try to make them laugh.ĥ: Avoid excessive strike-throughs and blamming, as it makes it hard for all of us to read.Ħ: Anyone who declares a state of anarchy or refers to this article as a "thread", will be shot, dragged out behind the barnyard, beaten severely, run over with a Baneblade, then shot again. If you don't have friends, tell it to your pet. Before you show us your wit, tell it to some friends and see if they laugh. Have you read it? Read it again!Ĥ: Learn to be funny and not painfully annoying, jokes are fine, bad jokes are not. Before you make it, ask yourself "can it be funny without referencing non- Warhammer stuff?" If the answer is yes, don't make the reference.ģ: Read through the damn list before repeating the same damn thing over again, because having five entries, all asking for the same thing is stupid. This is the Emperor's Sacred To-Do List, not the toilet paper roll of an illiterate five year old.Ģ: Keep crossovers to a minimum, especially dumb ones. As a matter of fact, the Adeptus Custodes happen to have scribbled down this reassuring list of things that the Emperor intends to do once he's finished taking a little nap, scratched his non-existent nose and taken a bath.ġ: Learn to spell. The God-Emperor of Mankind has been taking a bit of a breather lately, but don't think that he has stopped caring and looking after humanity. The Emperor's list of Things to do after Resurrection 3 The Holy List (in no particular order).1 The Emperor's list of Things to do after Resurrection.